"Depression, Maybe it's time to Go a Little "Crazy".

Depression you baffle me! Are you just a catch phrase modern day psychiatry has labeled me with? What these imbelciles can't understand with their "minds" as, being  "normal", is that it's just a label? Or maybe you label this to keep yourself getting paid and to make sure your jobs stay put? I do not know?! Or do I? Some may say depression takes your soul, but I think this "disease" lies more in the body and that's why these modern day head shrinkers can't figure out the cure, even if they really want to! Remember ladies and gentleman: ONE MAGIC PILL IS ALL YOU NEED, to get rid of your ills that probably built up over time. As I have "struggled", what ails me isn't a straight Depression I think, but more of a system of the body, mind and spirit being out of WHACK! Maybe instead of trying to tackle my "problem" rationally, that maybe I just needed to go a little CRAZY?! And not the crazy that means shunning society, wetting my pants, not listening to others. But more CreAtIve crazy, where we question our lives, quit our jobs that have no meaning, define who we are and not who society says we are.

Going "crazy for me meant throwing myself in the process of life and staying present to all the atrocities that human beings perpetrate upon each other, with my eyes wide open. I didn't need ever to watch a horror movie, because I got to watch the whole world "Fight". Whether over business, relationships, health care, cutting each other off, using each other to satisfy their own selfish needs. That was many moons ago, now I'm done trying to "fit in" and will be myself at all costs... That is me going crazy and being sane all at the same time.

Will the paragraph above help me to lift my "Depression", for me yes and if my new way of Life doesn't fit me then I will change it and not get stuck in one place. Always moving... When I get depressed I will keep trying to stay in the present moment and listening more to my body than my mind. Taking a nap in the afternoon, setting boundaries, cussing, staying up late or going to bed early depending on my mood. So I maybe depressed, but I will still live my life and that will be my ROCK!

#hiddenmeaning

Brett Drummond

"Escape Emotions To Live A More Full and Empty Existential Existence?"

I don't want to feel any emotion. Happiness is knocking on my door and all I want to do is numb

every part of my being to this feeling. I exist on every level except that of human emotion. It seems

as if Life drags me up and down, pulling me deeper and deeper into the pits of all human existence.

Maybe this is why I don't want to feel? Because my Life already mimics all the emotions that my

own humanity has to offer? Would this be twice the tidal wave of life coming at me, full force and

unrelenting? I also know that I have to deal with others emotions and maybe this is why I don't want

want to feel my own energy. Dealing with others negative vibes sometimes leaves me so vulnerable

and drained, that I might not notice that I am not paying attention to how I feel. Or maybe I just don't

want my Life to be real sometimes and not taking control over my feelings are way to shrug off

responsibility and escape from this world?  Or maybe I just need a break form all that I am and am

going to be? As wonder I wax and wane through all that this experience of my Humanity has to offer

Always wondering what adventural emotional adventure lurks around each corner. Drawing me into

the vortex that my existence sometimes feels like. Emotions are also my Lifeblood in this world as I

see it. Why is such an important part of Life, so sometimes hard for me to go through? Maybe

because this is the toughest boundary for me to cross, this path might also be the most rewarding, but

dare I cross into this wavy, blurred line of my purpose? And maybe I won't have a choice and will be

just dragged down over, out, skyhigh and twisted without any say so? I now know I know not and I

will just keep living, learning and loving... Until next time you poison passion of emotional life!

Brett "Live In" Drummond

Yep especially that last line


Brett "Living Life" Drummond

"Consciousness Knocking On My Door."

When your Consciousness comes calling will you answer?

It's not like it's the Grim Reaper who shows up, but maybe just a deeper desire to change.

If you don't answer will this messenger keep trying to penetrate your home?

Just think about this "idea" if you don't get this idea the first time, will this idea come back?

Some may believe this notion to be Karma and they may be right?

But I think this is more a series of events that once set in motion will NOT be ignored

Forgive me for waxing philosophical, but I am a poet by nature and this is what comes.

Well when I get a knock from my Consciousness, I listen, but don't always respond... Lol

This power that makes me aware is one I don't take lightly....

But I also don't trust this rocket that comes barreling at me full force!

Bringing with it awareness and also a truth that I might not be ready to "hear" yet?

Could it be that my Consciousness is not me and I am just playing a "game"?

Sometimes this power tells me a story, other times I feel as though I am punished.

Either way I cannot resist this "thing" that comes a calling.

I don't think Consciousness is Life, rather a lesson, that I am here to pay attention to here to learn.

So I may answer that knock whatever time a day it comes, but I don't always listen....


Brett "Aware" Drummond

It just didn't knock